The Oldest Profession
The oldest profession
Prostitution. The oldest profession in the world. It has been around for hundreds of years and it will be around long after we’re all dead and buried. That’s a cold hard fact.
While other industries have evolved with the times, prostitution has remained the same. Women (and men) from all walks of life have made the conscious decision to sell their bodies for twenty, thirty or sixty minutes at a time to anyone that is willing to pay for it.
It’s funny because this isn’t exactly a job you think about doing while you’re sitting in the careers office at school. Rarely will you find someone who says, “I can’t wait to leave school and become a prostitute”. But somehow, thousands of people will, at one time in their life, work as a hooker.
For me? Well, I was at a point where I had no idea what I wanted to do. All I knew was I wanted money like, now. The sex industry was appealing for that very reason - money. It's good money, it's quick money and the reality is that anyone can do it.
I had begun my research one night and by the end of it, I was able to find enough balls to contact this cute little place (otherwise known as a brothel) not far from my humble abode. I was so insanely naive and I didn't really know what I wanted to say or even what I wanted to do! I found myself on the phone blabbering on like an absolute dickhead...
"Hi! Good mor... goodnight, hello, umm.. My names Mariah and I was wondering if there are any jobs available there now, well not now but currently, you know...”
Awkwardly, before she could answer, I mumbled “Like a desk job...”
What the fuck? A desk job?! I’m an idiot.
"We have a few... do you have a license?"
"Um, I drive, yes"
"Haha, no darling, a managers license"
"Oh, hahaha (my nervous laugh would have surely given away how young and green I was 🙄) ummm... I do not but I can get one!"
I think back to this conversation often and I wonder, had it have gone down slightly different, where would I have ended up? I easily found myself a job in this random world and thinking back, I'm not entirely sure if that was or wasn't my plan. You know how they say curiosity killed the cat? Curiosity just got me a job in a brothel. Yep.
I had to wait a solid four weeks for the license to be approved and to arrive. You need the physical card before you can start work anywhere. The laws around the sex industry are particularly strict - especially in Victoria! It seemed you weren’t even allowed to answer a phone without that bloody license.
People generally know what to expect on their first day at work. Well... it’s fair to say I did not.
I met a woman, Kara, who oddly looked a lot like my mum.... she had told me five minutes after I started, that she had a “sponge” stuck in her vagina and needed help getting it out.
I was busy learning the ropes but turns out; “the ropes” includes helping women in need. Her sponge was stuck.... in her vajayjay and I was in the right place at the right time and all of a sudden, I was designated ‘sponge getter’.
*A sponge is just that! Girls are able to work while on their period with the wonderful absorption of a little pink sponge! Classy, eh?
I walked to the girls change room where I met a few other interesting characters though I didn’t pay much attention at this point as I was too busy snapping some plastic gloves on ready to virtually fist another human being. I was mortified but strangely enough, in my element. My humor guided me through this experience and it truly guides me through this industry to this very day.
You know when you see people shove their fist up a cow’s ass (or is it their vagina???? Mmmm...) Picture that.
Task one complete! I could handle this, omg, what could possibly be worse than that? I snigger at that question now...
I had washed up and walked back into reception where my world became a little less full on. The phones were ringing; clients were in and out, the usual.
In a short 5-hour shift, I had found my niche. The only job I EVER had where I was eager to return the very next day. And that I did.
People ask me about my story so often. Sometimes I even fascinate myself when I answer questions. “Holy shit, did that really happen?”
It's been a whirlwind...
Brace for impact. The stories from within will knock your socks (and possibly your jocks) off! 😂
This was the only the beginning of my story. Trust me, it gets better.