Saint or Sinner Part 1
Saint or Sinner Part 1 It was a really hot Friday night - I remember it well. I was cooped up in an dingy hotel in Melbourne’s CBD and I was getting ready for a space themed swingers party. Not an average Friday night for me but it was for my new bestie, Ivy. “Skull it.” Ivy placed a buttery nipple shot infront of me. “You look scared as fuck.” “That’d be because I am scared as fuck.” I continued to smash down whatever was put in-front of me one after another. “Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.” She assured me. Ivy seemed confident but this wasn’t her first rodeo. I decided I best get off my semi-drunk ass and put on my outfit. I wasn’t very creative, though. A short Silver dress was spacey? Right? Wrong. “Have you got undies on?” Ivy looked me up and down. “Ummm... yes... “ “Take them off. You’re not going to church, you’re going to a fucking swingers party.” I was mortified. But she was right. I knew there was some kind of dress code and little old naive Mariah assumed that meant a short skimpy dress, apparently undies weren’t welcome either. I decided to keep my itty bitty undies in my bra. It was a bit of a mum thing to do looking back but you never know when you’re gonna need some Lacey undies. We decided we wouldn’t get there too early so we stopped at Krispy Kreme for a quick feed (it was virtually next door to our hotel and we were in sky high heels - I wasn’t going to fucking walk around the city in those bad boys) I remember getting the stare from every single person in the restaurant and I asked Ivy if we were being looked at because we were babes or was it because we were dressed like hookers? “Both.” She smiled. I managed to scoff down a jam donut and a bottle of water in an attempt to sober up. I wasn’t fooling anyone. I was blotto and we weren’t even in the vicinity of the venue. It was now dark outside and being the anxiety-riddled panic merchant that I am, I forced Ivy to jump into a taxi with me just to get us around the corner. The party was at a nightclub on Kings Street that could of easily been missed if we blinked. The seedy taxi driver knew it though. “Have a good night, ladies” he turned back to look at us with a grin. I stumbled out of the taxi in front of a group of men who were dressed as avatars (From the movie Avatar!) and when I say they were ‘dressed’ I meant they were coloured in blue body paint with skimpy budgie smugglers on. They were tall with perfect bods. The nerves suddenly hit me hard and fast... I was officially out of my league. As we walked through the front door, we handed our tickets over and our belongings. “What!? I can’t even take my phone in to get some dick pics?” I joked, Awkwardly. “What if someone dies and I need to be contacted?” I argued... “Shut up, you can always come and check your phone.” Ivy knew the deal whereas I did not. Someone had their grumpy hoe hat on and I had forgotten this was Ivy’s business and I was just some awkward intruder. We walked through these big double doors into what seemed like a normal nightclub.... until I saw the grope box, the lady performing sex acts on the main stage and the naked DJ. I decided I wanted a spray on tattoo from the nice naked man set up over in the corner so I linked arms with Ivy and we skipped over there - my attempt at getting in the ‘swingers’ mood. “ I want that one. On my buttcheek” I pointed at the scorpion print. I didn’t give him an option really, I turned my back and lift my dress and exposed my buttcheek next to his face. “Sure thing! Did you just get here?” He asked. “How’d you know?” I was puzzled “You’ve still got your clothes on.” He smirked. He was right. Look at me, looking like a virtual nun. I was out of my comfort zone but none the less, I held my dress up while he sprayed at scorpion on my ass. It was a quick process and I chuckled the whole time. Ivy jabbed me in the arm with her pointy nails “Oi, you’ve got an audience.” I looked behind me to see about 10 different men watching on. Some of them had their hands down their pants. I wasn’t sure if I was impressed or mortified.... but as the night went on, I realised this was only the beginning.